Category: In Memoriam
Hello everyone,
I've had a brief look at the boards before posting this, but nothing jumped out at me, so figured I'd do this here in case there are friends of Kev out there who don't know what is going on with him right now.
Kev is currently in an intensive care unit in hospital right now with pneumonia. He was admitted last Thursday and then transferred to a more specialist hospital on Friday or Saturday. Since then, he has been sedated and on a ventilator.
Over the past few days, he has improved enough for them to start talking about transferring him back to his local hospital. At some stage, it looks as though he will be given a trakiotomy so that he will be able to breathe better. Until that happens, they are keeping him sedated as they don't want him to choke on the ventilator tube.
Basically, from what I've been told, if they can't move him back tomorrow, they will perform the trakiotomy. If they can move him, they will leave it for his local hospital to do, but either way, they're wanting to wake him up properly. They are also doing regular blood tests and talking about downgrading him from pneumonia to a serious chest infection, so he's definitely hanging in there!
I will post more if or when I find it out.
Danielle
Wow. And some friends and I were talking with him on TT sometime last week just before all this happened. I knew he didn't sound good by any means but I didn't know it was that bad. Hoping for a speedy recovery for Kev.
Man, poor Kev. Will definitely keep him in my prayers.
Awww, Poor kev. I had no idea he was even sick. Poor guy. I wish him a speedy recovery and I hope nothing else goes wrong. Keep us updated please,and thank you for the info.
I've been keeping up with his news...
A speedy recovery to you my dear when you're well enough to read this.
Hugs and things, and your pressence is missed...!
Pneumonia is tough for anyone to handle. My youngest brother got it several times when he was little and it was scarey when we would wake up in the middle of the night and rush him to the hospital.
My heart sank when I read the title of this post because I knew it would be bad news about someone I've always liked. I'm sure hoping he gets better soon. Huge hugs, Kev, when you are able to read this.
Becky
keep it up kev bruh! we miss you on tt.
Yes, I hope he gets better soon and I wish him well.
Not loads to report other than that Kev is back in his local hospital as of today and is doing ok. Should hopefully know more tomorrow.
Danielle
Hope he is able to get home soon. All the best, Kev, once you can read this again.
Hanging there Kev. our thoughts are with you. Stay strong, keep fighting.
Thanks Danielle for keeping us posted. Please keep us posted and send our regards to him.
Thank you for posting this, and please keep us updated. Kev, I hope you are back home and on your feet very soon. hang in there.
Kev. Wishing you all the best in your recovery. You have to come back, we miss the wank stain you are on life. LOL. Keep fighting the good fight!
Thanks Danielle for bringing this on the Boards.
Thanks for keeping us updated on Kevin's progress. Good luck to Kevin.
We miss you around these parts Love. Wishing you a speedy recovery, you're a fighter and I know you can get through this. I love you so much my friend.
O my! I was not noticing the board for quiet sometime. and I miss this news till now.
I'm sure that kevin bastard will come back and tantalise the zone. I do have hope on that. Wake up and come to the zone soon and talk about indian meals you ate, kevinster.
Raaj.
Awwws I feel sooo awful, I didn't know kev was sick. I wish you the best and you'll be in my prayers from here on out Kev. Poor thing, cant wait until you come back around.
Thanks for the updates and at least evrything sounds positive so that's awsome.
Nevertheless, hope you get soon Kev. We misss you on tt brother.
Hang in there Kev, by the time you read this you'll probably be well again, but still...feel better soon.
It really isn't much the same without you around here or twitter. I hope you continue to get better. Take all the time and rest you need, whatever it takes to get well. Snuggles.
Depending on how serious the pneumonia was will depend on how long it takes. I knew of this football player who went to our high school's high school championship games with a cold. They won, but two days later the guy came down with an extremely serious case of pneumonia and had to have tubes throughout his chest for two weeks or more. This was a real fit, healthy guy, but pneumonia proved to be stronger at the point. He survived it though. It will take time and rest, but hopefully things are going smoother for Kev at this point. Hope to hear back from you soon man.
oh man I hope he's doing okay. Get better soon kev!
Is that tracheotomy thing what we used to call the smoker's hole? Where they can't talk anymore? I sure hope that is reversible.
So when he does come back onto the voice chat systems, you all won't recognize his voice, but it is not a faker, I have seen people with those things but it's been 20 or so years by now. Just know it's not somebody with a voice changer posing.
Sorry to derail but at first I missed that part till a ton of tweets mentioned that and, well, hopefully I am wrong about what that is. I'm really sorry man, that's gotta be rough.
Leo, I can't speak for Kev's situation, but when my grandmotherhad a trache it was just a tube down her throat that made it hard to swallow and made her feel super chapped and thirsty. It just helps you breathe and ideally keeps stuff from getting down there.
Not much new to tell you all really. Traik has been done, but Kev is still sedated. They've tried to wake him up a couple of times, but he gets very adjitated because he's uncomfortable and confused. He'll get there.
For anyone who recorded a message for the audio get well card made by Harp, thank you. I'm hoping to send it up to the hospital on Monday.
For anyone who didn't record a message for it, if you want to leave a message here, I will read them out and stick it on the CD as an extra track, but will need them by Sunday afternoon, around 4PM UK time.
Danielle
Man, that's gotta be scary, waking up and having breathing issues. Poor Kev.
We're thinking of you and wishing you well!
Come on, Kev. Recover!
okay, i'll leave a message- and can you put this on the cd for me?
hi kev,
while i don't know you that well yet, from what i do know, you seem like a really nice person
when i first joined, you seemd extremely helpfull- explaining some stuff to me, and just being an all round awsome influence in qns and livened the place up big time. speaking for myself, i'd love to get to know you more- and i know their are so many of us that want you to recover and get back to the site. i know how scary it must be, but i know you'll recover and be back with us really soon
take care of yourself,
emily
hope he gets well soon.
I didn't know about the audio messages being collected by Harp, so could you please put this message on the CD FOR ME?
Hi Kev
I was worried when I saw the message on the boards that you are in the hospital. I sure hope you get well soon. EVERYOne on the Zone misses you.
Hugs. Becky
Danielle, do you mean like recorded messages? I would love to do that, although I fear I may be a bit late. Let me know.
I think it might be a bit late for that, yes. I learned about the audio recordings through various people I follow on Twitter, but don't really have a good way to make one, or I'd have sent one. If I read Twitter right, even the audio book narrator Scott Brick included a message on there. Is that accurate?
Yeh that's correct...
I will include all of the well wishes left here.
Thanks guys, he'll definitely appreciate them.
Danielle
Dude! Epic! I don't kno who that is, but still epic!
It would have been nice if someone would have asked a CL to make an announcement on here about the audio recording being made. I don't use facebook or twitter and had no idea.
Same. I was lucky I saw this just in the nick of time. Danielle, will you let us know how he liked the card, too? :D
Grrr. I wish I had heard of the recorded messages. Ah well, I still stand on my two feet upon my wishing of his getting better.
Hello Everyone,
I am very sorry to have to tell you that Kev passed away last night. It seems that he developed a secondary infection and just couldn't cope with it.
I can't tell you anything else, but knew you would want to know.
RIP Kev, I love you! :'(
Danielle
Such sad news. Though it sounds cliché, I am glad he is no longer experiencing any discomfort. Kevin, I didn't know you well, but I liked what I saw, or rather heard, on TeamTalk with all our friends. Your presence and lightheartedness will be missed. And perhaps especially, thank you for loving my music. Love, light, and music notes to you.
Thank you, Danielle, for being proactive in keeping us updated. Tight hugs to you in this hard time.
Through this board and Twitter, I obviously knew he'd been in the hospital the last few weeks, but I thought he was getting better, not worse. Very sudden and sad news. I didn't know him as well as some on here, but I did enjoy talking to him on TT when I was there. This place will not be the same without him, and for those who were close to him, their lives will never be the same. RIP, Kev!
RIP kevin. i'm gonna miss him comeing into the showe stoppers channel and playing games with us or making his Lattes. you will be mist man. :(
I am also very sory to hear about this.
I follow harp on twitter and he was posting the news of Kev constantly and i thought he was getting better.
I didn't know Kev that well but i used to agree with most of his board posts.
The only time we spoke with private quick notes was when i accidentally send him one of this dice quicknotes and probably you guessed what he told me.
Also when i was on zone icon i used to enjoy the comments he was making about my performances. They were very funny but also very true.
RIP Kev
RIP, Kev. I suppose I could be selfish and lament the fact you're gone and that I'll never get to talk to you again Ð about the delicious Thai curry you had last night, about my job interview today, or about the cover of "When You Believe" that Sam and I were going to do. TT without you just won't be the same. whenever I get on TT now, a part of me will be expecting to hear your voice every now and then.
Yet, I know you're in a better place now and can eat as much curry as you want. i'm sure the girls there aren't bad-looking either. ;-)
I will be thinking of you, and I'm sure I'll cry over your passing a few more million times.
Goodbye, Kev, and remember to smile wherever you are. I love you.
one tat will not soon be forgotten..me and this guy go way back. i am so glad i could call him a friend.
sad news to find out on a wednesday morning. rip kev. you were one of a kind.
So many words I can say here, I think Faraaz summed it up best, you were one of a kind indeed. You were there for me at a time when not a lot of others were. We had so many inside between us, I'll miss you making fun of me when I'm sick, I'll miss doing my Nan laugh for you. I know we've had our ups and downs over the years, but I'm so glad we reconnected and made our friendship grow. I will miss you so much but I know you no longer have this sickness or any pain at all. Enjoy life up there Baby, say hi to Aaron, and know that you've forever left a permanent mark on my heart that shall never go away. I love you my sweet friend. I'll probably think of more to say later.jokes
Gonna miss ya Porky, RIP.
I never thought he'll leave us this much soon. I was with a hope as he'll be sick for sometime and with all the medical inventions, he'll get back with us again. I don't have any words to say further. or dono how to express it.
Really missing you my friend. RIP kevin.
Raaj.
OMG, such a shock!!! :( Wasn't expecting this at all. Kev, didnt' knwo you that well, but Publics won't be the same without you anymore. I'm glad I got to know you at least for a little while. I'll miss you on here. RIP.
RIP Kev. It was a privilege and an honor to get to know you a bit over quicknotes and on the holidays, over the TT channels. I'm sorry you did not get to go on that sailing adventure you were telling me about. We had quite a time talking watercraft. Also, you were very encouraging about the fatherhood / daughter graduating early thing, you didn't know me well but were most encouraging.
I'm with Raaj: words faial.
RIP Kev! While we hadn't been as close lately as we were years ago, you'll always have a special place in my heart. Faraaz was exactly right when he said you were one of a kind. We'll miss you here, but you're in good company up there with Aaron, Bill, and Dave.
I'm still in shock. Like everyone else, I expected him to pull through and be back with us on tt and on the zone. We had our disagreements, but I know Kevin always had his good intentions.
Lots and lots of Snuggles Kev. You will be missed.
Love you. Even though I didn't say it enough.
Saw a mention of Kev's passing on Twitter but refused to believe it till I got on here. Oh Kev, we weren't as close as you were with others but you always sent me a friendly pm when I logged on, always asked how I was doing. I remember the old days when we'd hang out on Ventrilo, you and Dan always made me laugh and blush. Your questions may have been personal and a little embarrassing but you made it clear that they were meant in fun and you never wanted to make me uncomfortable. The last time we had a real conversation it was about Bruce Springsteen and the current lineup of his band. Really wish we'd talked more in recent times. Now I'll always think of you whenever I hear that Beatles song. Blackbird, fly. RIP.
This news just makes me want to scream. Damn! Damn! Damn!. Kev was one of the first people I got to know on here when I joined more than eight years ago. He and I never got extremely close, but I did always like him and enjoyed his humor. We had a falling out once, and those few months when we weren't talking were very sad for me. But we straightened things out, and I've always known I could count on him when I had questions about the zone or something technical or just when I needed someone to greet me with "hugs, Becky" when I entered the zone.
He will be missed by so many people. I hope he knew how many lives he affected.
I am so hurt by this news. Kev was one of the few people on here who I was actually close to. He was a very good friend. It always hurt me that he wasn't feeling well. I told him all the time I wanted him to get better. At least he's not suffering anymore. I'll miss you my little english muffin. TT isn't gonna be the same without you. I'll miss playing little exam with you, and getting my ass kicked. Love you Kevvy Bear.
I've just been laying in bed this morning my head a whirl of roiling thoughts; how is
it that a man, whom I was talking too less than 3 weeks ago, is suddenly gone? I mean of
course I understand the logic of what has happened, but logical explanations aren't helping
at the moment to make sense of what has really happened.
I keep thinking of things that instantly remind me of Kev, like the fact that Shan and I
were in an airport just two days ago and bought Kev a stuffed tiger that he absolutely
would have adored. Our intention was to take it with us on our next trip to England to give
to him as a gift. Instead I had to sit beside my wife this morning as she removed the tiger
from it's box and held it and cried; or that just yesterday I got my hands on the latest David Baldacci book that Kev would have absolutely loved to read; or even just silly things like funny jokes that he would have appreciated, and as anyone who knew Kev well would understand, when I say funny, I do of course mean wildly inappropriate.
The fact is he is just gone, and I can't seem to make sense of that reality.
Perhaps the worst thing about posting my thoughts here is that while a few people will
completely get what I am going to write next, so many won't, because Kev had two very
distinct sides too his character. There was the hard-nosed, don't give a damn who he
offended outer shell, but there was also a deeply caring inner core to Kev which so sadly,
many of you won't ever have seen, or will have only caught fleeting glimpses of.
In many ways Kev was the most simple of human beings in that sense. He didn't give his
trust or affection easily, but once it was given it was a true gift. If there was one thing
that Kev did teach me in the nine or so years that I knew him it was the true meaning of
caring, because when he cared, he really cared. The saddest thing about having that
knowledge of Kev is that it took me so long to realize it. In the beginning I'd find his
constant need for phone conversations or instant messenger chat irksome. Some times it
could almost feel as though one were being hounded and it took me a long time to understand
what was really at play. Kev didn't do those things to engender a false sense of bonhomie,
and it certainly wasn't about trying to vacuum up nuggets of juicy gossip to share with
other people, he did it simply because he felt a connection, and wanted the other person to
understand that, to understand that whatever was going on in your life, in him you had
somebody for whom it mattered.
Of course for Kev, as with everybody, there is only so much to give. I have no doubt that
for every true friend he had in this world you could find a dozen or more people who only
ever experienced his harsh side and that is an honest to goodness shame, because to have
Kev's friendship was a special thing and I consider myself privileged not just to have
known Kev, but to have counted him as a true friend.
I can only conclude by saying that he will be sorely missed. Whether it was back in the
days when Kev and I used to regularly offend the female fraternity of this website by
asking for bra sizes or shaving habits; or the time he had his circumcision and couldn't
masturbate for weeks and indeed daren't even get an erection; or the times when Shan and I
would spend hours on the phone with him helping him through his all too regular bouts of
depression; the one thing was that we always had a constant connection. He was somebody
that we spoke with on an almost daily bases and now suddenly, all we have is this void.
Where once there was this miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, now there is just
emptiness, and I want that miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard back.
I'll leave you with this thought though Kev, because I know wherever you are now, you'll be
reading this, probably with a smile that you're trying to hide, lest people get the wrong
idea and think that you laugh sometimes! I just want you to bare this thought in mind. You
spent your entire life disregarding all of my wife's warnings about the dire consequences
of using the word "cunt" in public, and now you're being prepared for spending eternity in
a box!
*IN JOKE*
Okay, so you may think that that is one of the lamest, sickest, most inappropriate attempts
at humor you've ever seen, or maybe you're even of a mind to cut me some slack and think
that that is actually quite clever and amusing. Either way, I know it would have made Kev
laugh, and today, that's good enough for me.
I love you bro. Save a pot of curry for Shan and I. We'll join you some day.
Much love, Shan and Dan.
Damn, I miss him a lot! Holy shit, I'm deeply sorry!
Aw Kev can't believe it's true. Didn't talk with you much, but I loved you just the same. Rest in blissful peace my friend. Will forever miss you and your sense of humor and your cynicism. Love always, Sunshine.
Very well put from a true friend of Kevin's who knew him well and better than most of us. Thanks Dan. Give Miss Pink hugs for me please?
Dan, your remarks made me smile. One only has to look at the site statistics page and see how many people had Kevin on there ignore lists to know that what you said about many people only experiencing his harsh side is true. But I am so lucky that I was given glimpses of his many other sides. I felt so bad for him at times because of all his health problems,, and when he was experiencing extremely long periods of insomnia and depression I wished I lived nearby so I could visit him and just give him a hug or cook him a meal or take a walk with him. I never got into the phone conference or team talk habits so never actually talked with him other than qn chats and MSN chats, but I still feel a huge loss.
I've already posted to this topic enough times so will sign off.
Love you, Kev.
Becky
I've been trying to think of what to write here all day that could put what i'm feeling into words, and it's not easy to do. Like many people, kev and I didn't always see eye-to-eye, but he was someone I was extremely glad to call a friend. As dan says above, when he cared for someone, he truely cared. and I don't think that's something enough people may have appreciated. He was always there to give me advice. whether i'd fallen out with family members, was struggling to find my way in life and not knowing what to do with myself, or most recently, when I moved into my new house and had to face the prospect of living on my own for the first time. i'll miss our unending conversations about football, cricket, and sports in general. i'm glad we got to meet a few times while you were in cardiff and could share some fun times.
Rest in piece mate, I hope that wherever you are now, there's an abundance of dirty jokes, good music, good beer, hot curry and pretty girls.
we'll all miss you,
forever your bald welsh friend,
Dan T.
RIP to one of my closest friends. I hope where ever you are you're not ill and i'm glad you knew how much we loved you.
Remembering you always,
Trem
RIP Kev, my whitest of white brothers from a colourful mother.
Man what sad news to hear this morning. I met Kevin originally from a friend named Wendy, she and I were sort of dating at the time, sort of just friends with benefit kind of thing. Kevin and her spoke regularly and it took me a long time to realize they were just friends. Also during that time Wendy and I did a few net radio shows. They were terrible and while we thought we were amusing I don’t think anyone else did except for this one stupid bit I did on bone in and bone out wings from pizza hut. Ever since that time Kevin always reminded me of it and how funny it was, I used to humor him so to speak but inwardly I still thought it was crap.
My friend Wendy passed away back in 2007 and I know Kevin missed her bunch, hopefully if there is another side you guys are meeting up about now. While it is a time for reflection and some sadness, we probably shouldn’t get to serious. Kevin would have probably cracked a totally inappropriate joke about it all anyway.
Rip
Shawn Keen
Over the past 3 years or so i got to know Kev, not always an easy person to deal with. opinionated, grumpy, sometimes it would seam that he was determined to be as argumentative as he possibly could, sometimes just for the sake of it. he would seam to take a strange satisfaction from arguing a point up until, and past the nth degree. however. Kev had a big heart and cared a whole lot about a lot of people. i hope you know that those people also cared a lot about you, you grumpy old bastard. you're gonna miss united winning back the title, and England slaughtering Australia in the ashes later on this summer. your timing is atrocious.
you had a big heart, and a wonderfully sick twisted sense of humour, which i always appreciated.
rest in peace my friend. it wont be the same without you.
This is really sad news. Unfortunately I never got to see Kev's softer side, as I was one of the people who only saw his harsh side as Dan mentioned before. I wish I would've gotten to know him better, because clearly, he made a real impact. RIP Kev, we never knew each other well but I hope wherever you are you're having fun.
Dan put it better than i ever could! kev was an awesome caring person! who yeah, could be a grumpy ass at times. but he knew that. and that's the kev i loved so much!! i nic named him grumpy bear a long while ago, and it fit him well. cuddly and caring like a care bear, but grumpy and hard when he wanted to be! Kev was one of the first blind people i had ever talked to 12 years ago. I had just gone from perfect vision to none. he was there for me. a stranger i didn't know online helping me out. he became one of my great friends. i enjoyed our time together, we had awesome chats and fun laughs. our june trip to the UK won't be the same. we were looking forward and already planning our time together! i love you soo much kev and will miss you greatly! i mean who else is going to call me cute, hot, sexy and shit?? love you! RIP
Dan squared, both your posts made me cry. Oh I hope you know how much you are loved Kev.
I barely knew Kev, but I just want to go on here and extend my sympathy to everyone, friends and family alike. I think we all need to thank Danielle for being proactive, in what must be a very difficult time for her, to inform this crazy online community about the tragic news. Hugs to all.
Didn't see the softer side of you that much, Kev, but I appreciated your no-nonsense side. Dan put it way better than I could. Hopefully you'll be chowing down on as much curry as you want, and finding some pretty girls wherever you are.
I also remember your trying to one-up Anibal for the most points, and I'm glad you succeeded.
HaMakom yinakhem etkhem--May God help to comfort those who have lost loved ones, whether friends or family, and may their memory be a blessing to the world.
Tyler
Harp, your post said it all perfectly! Lol and we won't even have a discussion on Kev's circumcision, but I think you and Shea already knew the story I shared with her a few minutes ago.
All I'll say is that I'm glad I had the chance to know both sides of Kev... the grumpy, cantankerous side, and the sensitive, caring side.
RIP Kev
Hugs,
Sab.
I'll miss you raging about hey tell cutting you off every couple seconds. I'll miss you making fun of me and calling me a blonde and asking creepily what I was wearing.
Kev was one of the first people I met on here as well. He was such a fun loving guy and was very caring as well even if many were not shown that side of him. I remember how he used to piss so many people off on here and how I'd laugh about that. I remember the many conference calls we were on together and his many readings of playboy and his other naughty braille Mags he had lying around. I love his laugh, his jokes and his love of reading. He was always telling us about what books he was reading or what cool new album he found. And even just old music he liked. Kev my friend, I will miss you and please have a drink with Aaron and I hope you 2 have good times together until we all meet again.
Dan your post was wonderful.
Thinking of Kev reminds me of vt, bad as in inappropriate jokes, laughter, and some badgering, most in a good way. Kev was fun, and honest went through a lot, and even with his wigeing could make one laugh. You'll be missed.
Kev was one of the first people I remember on here from way back in the day, and I can remember laughing at many of his jokes and conversations. As time went on and we talked on Ventrilo, later Team Talk, one could tell how much he genuinely cared about the site and what went on here. Whether it was badgering us about Sports Challenge or reminding us of something that has been broken for 6 months, he would relentless be on our case until he got it fixed. To me, he was probably one of the best community leaders that never had the title, he was a community constant. Many people have come and gone, myself included, but Kev was a constant whose sarcastic wit and deep heart will truly be missed. The old cliche about charishing the friends you have again rears its head, as like Aaron, we were just talking a few weeks ago. But sometimes cliche happens to be the absolute truth. Kev, TT and the site won't be the same without ya man.
And as a follow-up, I see my board title says 8 years and counting. If Kev were on here now, he'd probably be giving me shit to go fix it, so I'll get on it.
To quote the late chuck schuldiner, life ends so fast, so take your chance and make it last. I never really knew kevin, but my deepest sympathies go out to all who knew and loved him. Having lost a deer uncle in 2009 unexpectedly was hard, so I know how dificult this must be with this unexpected news. He will always live on in the hearts of many.
All of your messages are beautiful, and I agree with every one and could not have said it better. Kevin, you were such a great friend to me. I was one of the fortunate to see your deeply caring and sweet side, and your rather harsh and dirty side, and I loved them both. You will be missed terribly, but I am glad you are in a place of peace
Rip Kevin, I love you.
Kat
I am going to miss you Kev,
we never really saw eye to eye in the first 8 years of you knowing me, you have your misgivings and I don't fault you at all. You were just caring of people and that is a trait you were extremely gifted to use with great intentions.
thankfully in the last 6/7 months I was fortunate to gain your friendship and meet that wonderful side few people were honoured enough of discovering.
I always enjoyed our spontanious jokes and funny sessions on tt, then you asking me "Joe Joe I heard united are going to sign this player, what do you know???"
my hugest regret was not having that coffee with you and sharing a joke in person.
I can only echo everyone elses words.
so rest in Peace mate. you'll never be forgot.
My heart just ache with the news of Kev's passing!
On one hand I'm glad you're no longer suffering my darling, but on the otherhand, I'm selfish enough to wish you are still here with us. I'll never bare the thought of being on TT again because it just hurts too much to not hear your voice.
I was so looking forward to a post where I would hear you are doing better, and would be home soon. At which point, I'd open my heart and home to your visit, but that is not to be... I willl always have regrets over that. I miss you more then this post could ever express. Thanks for being you, and thereby special and unique. More immportantly, thank you for being an amazing friend no matter how many times I've pushed you away. I too will miss your sense of humor.
Huge hugs and things Kev dear,
RIP and I love you so much!!!!!!!
Kimmie.
I didn't know Kev very well, but the few times I talked with him on ZBP or on the site, I never found him rude or disrespectful to anyone, and his since of humor was what made him unique. He was one of the people who could bring a smile to my face if I needed to be cheered up, and he was a great person. He will be missed terribly by all of us who had the great pleasure of knowing him.
One usually does not know what he or she had, until it is gone.
This is the thought that has echoed over and over again in my mind as I read this thread. Kev and I didn't offten see things similarly. We never spoke very much. When I first became a member, I was often irritated with him and thought he was a pompous dick. I figured he was just another angry person with nothing better to do than to toy with people and make them angry just as he was. That was, until I got to talk to him, the little I did, on the site and TeamTalk. I realized it was more so sarcasm, which was a different type of sarcasm than I have. Plus, it was harder for me to tell in writing. But here's my point. Though I never got to speak to Kev and tell him this, I looked up to and admired him. He was not a sugar coater as most of my family was, which I have always gotten more out of bluntness and pepople telling me straightforward what problems were. Kev was a very intellegent person, knowing specific facts and proving that in the quicknote quiz league time and time again, and just in general conversation. You don't come across many people with that sort of intellegence offten. Lastly, I enjoyed hearing that British accent and his laugh, which is always something I enjoy hearing from anyone. I tried as hard as I could to get the British accent impersonation down, but I haven't been successful yet.
So as my hands shake as I write this post, and I try to hold my emotions back, I hope I didn't make to many typos. My condolences go out to those who were closest to Kev. The zone will certainly be different after his passing, however, I'm sure Kev wouldn't want us to be upset about it forever. Remember those crude jokes and stabs he threw at us. Remember the impact he left here, and remember the good times you and he had.
To add one more thing...
Kev, my answers will always hold true where you're concern on the topic BlackBird VS. Harp, smiles.
Need I say more?
your mini Kimmie.
Kev, wherever you are at this point in the afterlife, I hope that you are finally resting from all you had to deal with while you were alive. I did not know you in a personal level, but I appreciated the fact that you were honest and stood up for what you believed. The little times we talked, I couldn't help but notice how you were a nice person, but wanted to make sure that not just anyone else would se that, unless they won your trust. Dan and others who knew you said it better than I could. So all I could say now is RIP Kevin. I'll never forget how you always asked how my band was doing and I was glad to share some of my music with you. Good bye kevin. You will certainly be missed by your friends who barely or deeply knew you . TT isn't the same without you man. I'm still in shock.
Carlos
I've said this again and again, but it holds true still, if you have someone who's a deer friend, an uncle you're very close to or anyone for that matter, tell them you love them, because when they're gone you won't get that chance. You never know how precious someone is until you've lost them.
Kevin was one of the first people who interacted with me on this sight. Me being a head strong teenager, I bet most of you know how that went. For those first 2 years him and I would clash off and on, either because I had done something that focused his wrath, or because I was doing my best to defend my friends. Though we slowly started drifting closer and closer to a solid yet somewhat distant friendship.
Back when zone by phone was at its peak, Kevin, monkeypusher69 Steve and I would often times end up in the same conferences. We all had a friendly rivalry based on joking around, giving the newcomers to the chat hell, and generally trying to one up the others in that great old game of who can tell the best jokes. Looking back on it, I see now Kevin was often times the one that kept pushing the boundaries forward as he would egg us on to progressively more daring antics. though, i'll never forget the night he just let go... I'd never seen the depressed side of Kevin, and I had no idea where this would lead. But we all just talked to him, and before long, he was telling us about his childhood, and singing old songs from his time growing up. I couldn't believe it at the time, but there it was, the Kevin behind the Kevin, so to speak. Ever sense then, he's been supportive, yet always willing to lend an ear if I needed it. He even went up to bat for me a few times around here.
He respected my privacy and let me reach out on my own terms, for the most part.
that being the case, I think I'd have jumped on TT more often when he encouraged it, if I knew that opportunity was about to pass me by.
A few months back, I brought up the subject of all the changes i'd been seeing in him. Not only were his attitudes about his life changing, but his views on interacting, taking care of him self and dealing with anger were changing as well. He told me of his desires to live a happier, healthful and more meaningful life. I think all in all, he succeeded. He died a better man than I met all these years ago. All because he was brave enough to be honest about himself and his life. That is one of the hardest things for us humans to do.
Its unfortunate he didn't have more time to eat the fruits of his labors, but i'm glad he had enough time to see everything come together.
Rest in piece, Kevin.
i really wanted to get to know kev more than i all ready did.
now that won't be possible:(
rest in peace kevin
It's so odd to think of him as gone. He's been a part of the blind online community most of the time I've been a part of it. I'll probably always think of you when I come on the zone tt. We'll miss you Kev.
Damn. Just damn. Kev, rest in peace, and know that whenever I listen to a Kevin Bloody Wilson track, I'll be thinking of you.
When I first joined the site he attacked me and would attack me every time I came on. Sometimes we’d argue for hours, and it got to be a challenge trust to argue.
I honestly thought he was a difficult person for the first week, until I learned it wasn’t personal at all, and that was when the heat turned up.
Once I understood him he was fun. I’ve never spoken to him, but really enjoyed debating with him on many issues, and sharing information as well.
A really smart guy, and it made me sad to know he’d be sick from time to time, because it must have been a pain.
I understood his life wasn’t easy, but he gave to others anyway, and that was something.
Peace Kev.
ok, oh boy what to sy. i didn't really know kev as much as the rest of you did and its a shame. the only time i spoke to him or had an interaction with him was when he made fun of my name sexy latino need i go on? i'm sure those of hyou who know kev knows what he might have said. ... lol. and one of the last times i spoke to hin was when we were watching the super bol. kits interesting because the times when i was n the zone and he wasn't around i would always wonder where is the guy that hates my user name? i really wish i could have gotten to know you tio. rip man.
Dan your post just made me cry.
I can't remember when me and Kev started talking, but I was one of the ones who got to see his softer side. He knew a lot of what was going on in my life - a lot more than most people did. He bluntly gave me his opinions of what I should do. We wer supposed to meet up in 2011 but for various reasons it wasn't able to happen. We kept promising too catch up and I promised that once I moved house I would travel down to see him. How ironic then that I moved house this weekend :-(
We talked about sailing and whether we would go on blind week together.
I remember the days when kev and Dan actively competed to see how many people they could get to ignore them. Then dan became a cl...
Kev would banter with me but never ever inappropriately, he knew me well enough to know that there are lines I would never cross and he never crossed them.
So often people play down the value of online friendships and yet this topic is testament to the fact that a friendship between people who have met only in the virtual world holds the same value as one where people met in the local pub/at work/any part of rl.
RIP kev. xxx
I have laughed and cried reading all these posts. What a beautiful way to honor Kevin's memory. Having pieced several things together before and after his passing, I knew he'd been through a lot, so I hope he knew/knows how many people truly love and admire him.
Since everyone's telling actual stories, I'd like to share one of my own in addition to my prior post, though I have very few in comparison to the lot of you. As many are, I was intimidated by Kev at first, but I quickly learnt he simply had a crazy sense of humor and sharp wit, which I came to appreciate. And yet, however little I knew him compared to some of you, I believe I also experienced a glimpse of his more tender side which many of you have discussed here, and which he mentioned in his text profile. (Of course, I'd already pegged him for having a sensitive side, haha.) One day I shared a song in publics that I'd written a few months earlier, at the start of a rough time which I am still in the midst of. A few moments later, I refreshed the page and saw a private message from him saying that my song was beautiful. Though I receive many compliments on my music, I found his response particularly touching even then, so you can imagine how much of a treasure it is to me now. As in, I hunted it down last night and saved it. Thereafter I had a few really fun times with him and some other friends on TT, which of course included banter of all sorts, and my occasional performance upon request. Hearing his response to my music in person, so to speak, was so touching to me. I think my reasoning for this is that anyone can like a song, but I know this guy has been through a lot, so he truly understood the pain behind all the notes and chords and lyrics, and yet recognized my intentional pain-to-beauty theme. So Kev--and I'm tearing up as I write this, because you would understand the connection I am making to my song--burst forth from your chrysalis of transformation and become the beautiful butterfly you have been all along.
R.I.P. Kevin.
lol one more thing about kev is, doug wrote a board about my shyness and he posted to it. I didn't expect that from him. it was so awesome that he went to bat for me. he would always ask me what i'm doing about where i'm living and sutch. he even yelled at me about getting my tassimo. lol. and like the others have said, tt will never be the same ever again. still waiting for him to log in even though I know its not gonna happen.
Trying to fight tears again. Damn you my Love. Another fond memory of Kev, I'm still waiting for his damned infernal randomizer to get me on log ins and log outs. I love you Baby.
Hi guy's, I just wanted to jump in here again and apologize to any of you that would have liked to have contributed audio for Kev's get well card but didn't get the chance. It was a fairly impromptu thing and to be honest, spreading the word on the Zone just never crossed my mind. I am an infrequent visitor to this place these days and the thought just didn't come to mind when it needed too so I am sincerely sorry for that. I hope no offense was taken, certainly none was meant.
If anybody would like to take a listen to the card then by all means do so, there are some lovely messages in it though I will warn you, it is approximately 25 minutes in duration so you may wish to empty your bladder and grab a beverage before starting:
https://dl.dropbox.com/u/36732417/Kev.mp3
Dan.
I wasn't going to say anything here, because tbh I kind of hate the Zone now and don't want my presence on it to be fresh, and also because public expressions of emotions are really really not my thing. I think Kevin would understand why I wouldn't want to post to a topic like this, and wouldn't expect it of me, just as I thought about the audio card that was made recently. But that's also the reason I finally decided to try.
Because Kevin was always someone who never ever pushed me to do anything that would make me uncomfortable, which, given his nature, is kind of a big deal. The number of times he gave me expressions of love and I responded to them with a 'thank you' or, worse, an 'I know' makes me feel bad now that another such exchange will never happen again, but he always knew what I wasn't (and still am not) comfortable enough to say. He never asked more of me than I could give, even though I feel positive that he would have sometimes liked to. That feels like something that should be appreciated and commemorated, somehow.
We had a hard and turbulent relationship. We were both difficult people to be close to, and, when put together, the difficulty was multiplied by about a million. I didn't always like Kevin, and sometimes he (or his levels of affection) would just become too much for me to deal with, and there would be large gaps in our closeness because I would distance myself from him. He didn't always respect the boundaries I set for our interactions with each other and I didn't always feel emotionally well enough to deal with his emotional unwellness. He was an asshole, and not always in the delightful way that we all came to love. I won't sugarcoat what our relationship was or pretend he was a saint now that he's gone; he would hate that kind of disingenuousness.
But there was no one more unconditionally supportive. He never judged me for any of the admittedly terrible choices I made in my past, was never too busy to listen to me rehash the same issues again and again and never got frustrated with me for the ways in which I was unable to fix them, and was always the first and most enthusiastic celebrator of my triumphs and happinesses. He had a gift for knowing when to give advice, when to make jokes, and when to just let me pour out in a way I am able to do with very few people, and he was endlessly patient with me when I think most people would have just written me off. Like many others, apparently, he was one of the first people I spoke to when I joined the Zone, and he was a constant presence in my life from then on. Some serious trust and friendship were built up between us over the following six and a half years, and I always knew, even when I felt like no one else actually liked or cared about me, Kevin always did. I never once questioned how he felt about me, because he was so open and adamant about expressing it, through his actions as well as with his words. In a lot of ways, he was a strange kind of lifeline to me, one that I took for granted far more than I should have. It hurts my heart in a way that there genuinely are no words for to try and get to grips with the fact that I will no longer have that, and to think how ungrateful I really was about having it while I did. I can't even imagine future life events, whether good or bad, that he won't be there to share.
Kevin, you were one of the realest people I have ever had the pleasure and the irritation to know; this board topic is a testament to that. Beneath the selfish desire for you to still be here with us, there is relief that all you were forced to carry has been lifted from you and you can rest in peace, now. I won't say anything here that I wouldn't say were you still alive, so instead, I will just extend to you one final enormous ... FUCK OFF.
Aawww, I love the card. Sad my little improv song didn't get on there, and even sadder he didn't get to hear the CD. But I loved hearing this--I cried a little and laughed a lot. Thanks for sharing it with us, and props to you for putting the idea together!
We shared some wonderful moments and some embarrassing ones as well, You will always be the best scaffolding for my boobs lmao. You will always be missed and loved and never forgotten. I don't know who I'll share my stories of mel with now. I know how they use to make you laugh.
On a more serious note kevin. My family is going to donate to the alstroms foundation in your name. I know how hard you worked to help find a cure for yourself and many others like you. I encourage others to do the same. I'm so glad I had the chance to meet you in person at the alstroms convention. You were and are an inspiration to many that have been touched by your hard work and efforts in the cause. We love you kevin. May you spread your wings and fly our BlackBird RIP.
Wow, Harp Dan, incredibly well-written post. I wasn't very close to Kev, but I did enjoy talking on TT. I only go on there when I see particularly interesting people in a channel, and he was one of them. He was intelligent and funny. He went to bat for me once when another Zoner was making me very uncomfortable. He, like many, was wary when I became a CL, but in the end he was supportive and helpful. JJ had it right when he said Kev was the best CL who never actually had the title. Even though I didn't know him well, I realize now how for granted I took his log-ins to the site, or his being on TT. I know I'll find myself waiting for him to log in with some inappropriate but hilarious message, or wait to see him come on to a TT channel. I didn't have to know him extremely well to know that Faraaz is right, he was one of a kind.
Oh Dan, thanks so much for posting the link for the audio card. You did a great job. I was so moved by many of the comments. I have to admit, since I don't chat with zoners I don't know anyone's voice, so I wasn't sure who was talking in many cases, but what everyone said was so cool. It's just such a shame that Kev didn't live long enough to get to hear it. I know it would have made him realize how many lives he has affected and helped him fight to get well.
As I sit reading over others post, I cant help but to cry. Not only because in how much I really did like kev and enjoyed his convos and at one point he was there for me as well. But to see how he affected others, just makes me cry. I am so heart broken to hear of his death, I was praying and thinking, yes he'll return sometime soon. But out of the blue to be turned from bad to worse. This happens, I am so sad that you are lost to us dear Kev. But now you are where no pain can reach you, no suffering, I may not knw where that truly is for yourself, but To know you are better off now can bring a slight smile.
I love you kev as my good friend you were, and RIP to you.
evry time he use to come on the site he use to called me mexican which i totaly hate, or salvadorian, hundurian, colombian, african, brazilian, argentinian, perubian! but except the real one Guatemalan! or anipoo curly fry! am going to miss you Kevin! rip Kev!
Anibal
It still seems so unreal to me that this has happened. There is one thing I haven't said to you in these posts that I need to say now... Thank you. Thank you for being there for me when I hit rock bottom, and thank you for pulling me up out of the dark cavern I placed myself in. Thank you for questioning things you weren't sure of and debating things with me. Thank you for all those times I found you so damn irritating at times. Thank you for the many memories, amazing laughs and even the tears. Thank you for accepting me back into your life after I had been absent from it for so long. We picked up right where we left off as if nothing happened. There are some horrible things I said to you long ago, and for those, I am deeply sorry and I hope you know that. I love you.
oh yes his randomiser. he caught me with it frequently and gleafully since he knew that it crossed my comfort zone... but it was all harmless really...
I'll miss you, you wher the first person to ever talk to me on the zone. I'll miss your light hearted flirting and the way you'd always inquire about Ruben. Much love Kev and I hope you're resting in peace whereever you are.
Hope he gets better vary soon. sending positive prayers.
I just wanted to take a moment and offer to each of Kev’s close friend a hug as well as my condolences. The pain and the disbelief that I’d never be able to tease, flirt, and just talk to him about the mundane to the most serious of topics still grip my heart, and perhaps with time, it will hurt less, but I doubt it will ever go away.
Please know that, although each of us grief for our friend in our own ways, we are not doing it alone. Last of all, Kev will never truly be gone until we’ve erased the memories of him from our hearts. It is with this thought that I was able to drift off into a restless, but nevertheless some sleep last night.
I hope you could find a hint of solace in this little message.
Kim
Prayers be with his family and friends. I did not know him, but may he rest in peace.
We all were his family pretty much. Love you muchly Kimmy thanks for that.
Remember when he would talk to his dog? He would say puppy with his accent, and the first time I wasn't exactly paying attention and I thought he said poopy. Lol.
Well, I'll be playing Kadish tonight with the band at school. It will be to Kevin.
I'll just say, Sir Kev, that though we had our differences, we ended up working them out in the end. Though I never really saw your softer side, I did at least learn to accept you in some way, despite the endless sarcasm that flowed from you whenever I would log onto the site. I know someone else with Alstrom's syndrome, so I know a bit of what you were experiencing.
To those who knew Kev, in any way large or small, may you find solace in whatever form it may take in this difficult time.
Tyler
I keep thinking you're going to log in, I know I already said this, but seriously, this is so weird. Dan was right, and so was Danielle. There's a kev shaped hole in my heart and there's this void now that you're gone. I know you're somewhere, lookin at us calling us a right bunch of cunts or something to that affect.
wow, I kept on reading this board as I've been visitting the site a bit again lately but wasn't commenting as we hadn't been friends for a while and it seemed as though he was getting better.
Like everyone else, I was shocked to hear that he'd passed away.
We clashed most of the time towards the end of our friendship; I guess it was fair to say I didn't identify with his sense of humour; however, i have fonder memories of talking in Ventrilo in the very early days of knowing each other and I did enjoy our chats and some laughs.
I know depression plagued him for a while so I sincerely hope that life did get better.
He was an important part of the Zone as can be established from all these people new and old with all these messages.
My best also to his close friends and family at this sad time. R.I.P mate and see you on the other side.
We never got along, but I hope that you will rest in peace now.
See Kevin I did Pray
Lord I pray
That you give him another day,
that you know who he is in our life.
that you listen to us all tonight.
I know he is just a man just like any other under your sight.
But for us he is our good friend, and we all pray that you keep him in our life.
Please lord listen to our plea that we ask you upon this day in behalf of just another man.
Lord I pray. Lord I pray
-------------------------------
Voices rose pleading that he remain
But angels sang out calling him home..
They spoke of sight, hearing, and no more pain, well that was just to much to pass up and stay. So he picked up his soul and was on his way. He's not gone he's just gone home. He'll forever live in our memories and in each of our hearts. so he hasn't left us alone he's just gone home, He's just gone home.
We love you Kevin. From Maria, Tim, Melody, Lyric, Bella, & jaxx.
I know that I don't know you as well as I could have. I'm sorry Kev.
If there is one thing I can do now, it is to learn from you, to be a doer, rather than a hearer. To be real, the way you are real, and to love the way you love, not with empty words, but with full movements. I am starting now.
I'm sorry Kev. RIP.
Mr. Blackbird. RIP my friend. I may not have known you very closely, but enough to see your caring side. You helped me through my very difficult times during chemo therapy this fall (one, which I appeared to have come through on the good side, at least it looks that way).
I never thought you would be the one to disappear so suddenly.
Have fun, wherever you are, this site won't be the same without you, it has lost one of its most contraversial, yet caring and most influential characters, also a great man in real life, one which never had an easy life, but always made the best of it.
Enjoy wherever you may be my friend, I wish it is better for you than what you experienced on this side, you deserve no less.
-B
Hearing your voice again on that voicemail was beyond surreal, but I'm glad I did. I know you good-naturedly kept bugging me to send you a recording of any covers I've done, but for whatever reason, I kept putting it off. I guess it's high time that procrastination stopped.
I don't think I've ever told you this, but thank you for all the times you said and showed me my music does mean something and that I shouldn't keep it locked away. Maybe you believed in me even more than I've believed, and believe, in myself.
thank you.
There are so many cleeshays that come out when we lose someone we knew and cared about. Even saying knew, is a
shock to the system. It's true, I knew Kev, but as of March 5 2013 won't know him anymore. The past tenses hurt, I
miss you so badly mate. Over the last couple of years you found another group of people to hang out with online but
I will always be honored to be in the very first group. We first met on my Blind Kiss email group, back in 2001. I
remember our first encounter was when I made a typo, and wrote liek instead of like. Living in Carduff at the time,
you took offense, and called me on it. Kev, you were always there to talk to. Like allot of people I had a love
hate relationship with you. Hate because you knew how to push my buttons, and you could be an argumentitive, grumpy
fecker. Love because of your massive heart, the way you seemed to have a mental file on the happenings of everyone
you knew and cared about. Joanna was just talking on Wednesday night past, about how you would drop her a message
asking about her stepmum, Sharon when she was ill. I'll never forget your laugh Kev. The nights you, I, Erik,
Jack, Amy, Maryann, Gary, would hang out on Erik's Ventrilo server, or mine when I had it on. We'd drink, and
listen to dirty, filthy comedy clips. We introduced each other to so many artists. I remember playing you this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgyeshD8RJY
and although I was a big fan of Billy Connolly, I remember you playing this, and I'd never heard it before, you
would say it was one of your favorite songs of his,
http://is.gd/ETlWA3
I will never forget the head to head's you and I would have about who could play the best songs, songs that would
get peoples hairs standing on end. Like this one,
http://is.gd/LAMBL3
Kev, I miss your laugh, when you would tell that story about Stephen Maxwell in RNC. You know the one fella, you'd
bust up laughing so hard and I could hear your head resting on your desk, the tears tripping down your face. Damn
it, it's so unfair that you're gone. You offended allot of people, irronically enough most of which became people
who loved you, you big silly arse. I remember giving out to you about 7 years ago, as you phoned me at 3am because
your computer wouldn't boot. This back in the day when we'd one computer each. I knew what an ambillical cord your
computer was to you, hell it was to all of us back in the day. I'd let you phone me every morning at 3am, for this
madness that you are really dead to just be a horrible dream for us all. OK, maybe I wouldn't let you phone me at
3am, but, god damn it Kev I just miss you so badly.
I've memories of those few days I stayed in your flat in Carduff. I remember you telling me with the exception of
Dan and Shay, I was the first to stay over night in your house in 10 years. I remember how nervous you were, you
told me you didn't know what to do because you'd a house guest, and me telling you to relax and get on with what you
normally do, I'm just here to hang out, I don't need to be entertained. I remember you ditching me the very next
day when we went to your local shop. I'm shouting down your street, "Where are you, you bastard", and you laughing
down at your front door, with Nailer. Poor Nailer, I hope Phil or your sister has taken him for you. I think you
only had him a matter of months when I stayed, and I remember going in the front door, you showing me one of your
sofas and as I sat down this big over grown puppy Nailer jumping on my lap, and mouthing my ear.
Kev, I could write I'll miss you a thousand times, and it still wouldn't be enough. I can't believe it was only
last month you had booked your flights and hotel room to come to my and Joanna's wedding this June, and you'll not
be there now. Erik in Canada along with a whole host of people who never had the luck to meet you in person can't
believe it'll never happen, at least not on this earth. Man, I hope there is an after life and you are with your
pup Shelly. I was going up and down your timeline the evening when I found out about your passing, and can't
believe I didn't even see she had to be put down 3 weeks ago. This social networking is great, but sometimes it's
easy for people we genuinly care for, for their voices to get drowned out in the noise. Mate I'm not on your audio
get well card because I didn't see the call for people to add messages until it was too late, it wasn't because I
didn't care. It has broke my heart that you are gone Kev, it really, most sincerley has. I will never, ever ever
forget you big fella, and we shall raise a glass to you at our wedding. Thank you for allowing me to know you Kev,
thank you for pissing me off sometimes so much I wanted to strangle you, because it doesn't matter which one is
better between Window Eyes and JAWS. You were a unique individual, I don't think I'll ever say about anyone else,
that I'll miss arguing with them!
I'll sign this typically long-winded piece off Kev, I love you fella, I really do, Rest In Peace.
I saw this thread several days ago, and was so sad to hear about his hospital visit. Like everyone else, I expected him to get better and be back around offending people and caring about people in no time. I'll always remember him as a caring, sweet, wildly inappropriate guy who really did give a damn when he asked how you were. For all his emotional battles, of which I knew little, he was still an amazing person, Kevinly.
kevin, you were a challenge that I loved. I will miss discussing authors and music, with you. even the arguments we had about many different topics will be missed. You will be forever remembered as a person that said what they thought, and personally I will miss the chats we had, and I hope in heaven you are at peace and are completely healthy. I will miss the snide remarks and the smart chat. God bless you Kevin!!
Kevin,
I remember when I first heard this, I was so shocked it happened, I just sort of sat there, like, why... How? What happened? I mean I knew what happened because I had heard from dan on twitter, but it just couldn't register to me that you had passed away, that you were actually gone. It didn't register to me that you died, were in a better place, and yet, you were. Most of the people here will have already said what I am going to say so I won't reitterate, but I will say this. It was that bluntness that I sometimes knew I took too seriously but I knew I'd always get it straight from you because you had no shame. You didn't always like things I did and you said as much. You always flirted with me and I, in turn would flirt back and that was always fun. While I wasn't as close to you as others I'd like to think I was still someone you could talk to or have a chat with from time to time. You are definitely going to be missed, not only by me, but by those many others who love you and continue to grieve for you. Thank you for being a part of our lives.
Jessica
Here is a vid Kev sent me via Quicknote once, when we'd been being sarcastic about the new-age psychobabble and religious cliches, I don't even remember what got us started. He'd been observing me, more than I him, apparently: he sent this saying, "You'd like that:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrgFIlnmrGk
And he was right. Give a listen and see what you think. I know it's not Kevin, but he could have done just that scene in the vid.
Every time I think I've finished crying, I think of something else I want to tell you, or some joke you would have found funny, and there go the tears again, Kev, I'll miss your laugh, and the way you'd always tell me to take care of myself because you weren't there to do it for me. I'll miss the way you used to take the time out to listen to me ramble on about everything, from insignificant trivial moments to the hardest, most challenging times in my life. You were always there, always. And like others, I feel my heart breaking over and over again when I think that I'll never hear your affectionate words for me again. Even nearly a week since your passing, the grief doesn't feel like it's lessening. All I can do is hope and pray that wherever you've gone, you're happy, and that you're not suffering anymore. I wished we'd been able to meet face to face, because I always wanted to give you the biggest hug and return all that love that you gave me, unconditionally. I'll miss you, and I will always love you. Meet me at the gates when I get there, so that I can finally hug you tight.
Nakupenda
Your Kat
I showed everyone that particularly nasty voicemail you sent me back a couple years ago, you know which one, and it made me sad and happy at the same time. I agree with what Kaitlin said. Every single word. I can't believe it's been narry on a week. I love you
I really did not know Kev much and I really think he did not like me for whatever reason. I'm sorry he passed away and my prayers are with his family and friends he was close to. I will not bash people I did not know. I have no right to do that.
Words aren't enough right now. When Joseph called me and told me what had happened, I was literally in shock, speechless. Here we are, days and days later, and I'm still not over it. And I don't think I, or many others, ever will be. I find sollace in the fact that you are experiencing no more pain or suffering of any kind Kev. Reading through all of these posts, I've been fighting tears for an hour now... I know if you were here, you would have nothing but snarky and ridiculous comments to make, and I just love that. I miss you Kev, and I can honestly say that the zone won't be the same without you. There is so much more I want to say, but I just can't find the words... I love you Kev.
:( So I haven't had internet for the past week and am just now getting to post to this board!
Oh this just broke my heart! I am crying as I write this. :(
Kevin and Dan were the first people I really started talking to when I joined the zone. I remember being so shy. I never chatted to people online before and Dan and Kevin encouraged me to get on ventrilo. I remember spending lots of days with them chatting and laughing over stupid shit. Remember BlackBird VS. Harp? Of course you do! You always brought it up and laughed about how much crazy fun we all had with it! :p
Okay Kevin. Get ready for this! I will pubblicly admit this!!! Everyone! I was the inspiration for the "Can you suck your own nipple?" question. hahahah I knew that would amuse you! Every time you brought it up, I'd tell you how embarrassed I was cause I felt like I was such a crazy person back then. You would reassure me and tell me I was 19 and it was all in good fun! Remember when you and Dan came on ZBP to check out the first "new man" I was into then totally embarrassed the hell out of me like the awesome dorks you guys are? Oh Kevin. I am crying again. I know you would shake me if you could and tell me how silly I'm being. No. You'd hug me like the sweet cuddly bear you are and tell me everything will be all right like you always used to do. :( Oh Kevin. :'( I do love and miss you so much!
Throughout our years of knowing each other, you have seen me go through so much and we have shared confidences. You have seen me grow up and have told me how much you loved me then and how much you still love who I am now. Do you know how much that meant to me? I lost my self-confidence along the way and your kind words always brought me back up again. We have both felt comfortable talking about my crazy menstral cycles and also, you've shown concern about my sugars and how I don't eat enough when I should. I love you Kevin! I love how you'd yell at me cause I'd tell everyone you were really nice and sweet. What? You sooo know I am right and you sooo are! :)
Whenever there was ever a little bumpyness between you and I, we always talked about it and I loved that about you. I respected your opinion on a lot of things and you know how much I always came to you for personal advice! Whenever I was down or scared about something, you always listened and helped me see the brighter side of each situation!
Ever since I created my Showe Stopper channel, I have felt so much more closer to you. I feel like all my regular Showe Stopper crew is part of my big tt family and should anything happen to one of them, it would break my heart like it is doing now. I've missed your presence on teamtalk so much! I'm soooo happy that I taught you how to play scopa, Kevin! It amused me so much to see that you were playing a game when you used to swear up and down you'd never play them! You loved it so much you even went and played with the bots! hahaha Remembering all the good laughs and times we shared is making me smile once again. Thank you so much for that, Sweetheart! I am sooo blessed to call you friend!
I less three thousand three hundred and thirty-three you, my Darling cuddly Kev Bear! Rest in peace, Sweetest Kevin and I will try my best to keep your wise words in my heart and not let people make me feel unnecessarily guilty.
Showe
AKA
(Just for you,)
sexygurl86
when i first joined the zone back some six years ago. i was warned not to trust Kevin because he had a big mouth, was a zone bully and some other judgment calls about him. so, i never realy talked to him. sure i hung around the zone in the background just observing. he had his own click. but, he was a smart ass in your face tell it like it is guy. i shared several illness with him. i too am dieabedic, and suffer from kidney failure. i will miss his cut throat smart ass remarks, observations and sillyness. rest in peace me fellow blind fucker!
I'll always remember what your status message said for the past...gosh, I don't even know how long, Kev. "The Wanker Bear." So, hopefully, wherever you may be, you're living the name. Surely there's a lot of things up there to make that well worth your while. *Smile*
Tyler
I haven't been on the zone much lately. I come on to look at boards and then I leave. I didn't even know Kevin changed his username, that's how little I was around.
But he really did touch my life. We were never terribly close, but I always felt comfortable around him. I appreciated his honesty and how real of a person he was. Rest in peace, Kevin BlackBird. We love you.
ha, I was the one that named him wanker bear! i use to always tease him, that he was a care bear. of course the tough kev didn't like that. so i told him fine you can be grumpy bear and later changed it to wanker bear. lol he liked that and it's stuck ever since! Dan and i keep thinking of funny kev stories. or dong something thinking kev would have loved this! it's sad! i miss him so much! it's hard to go from talking to someone daily to not being able to talk to them at all. I just can't make myself believe he's gone. i just keep thinking the phone wwil ring and it will be Kev. i know that's not going to happen, but it don't hurt to wish! we had an awesome time with him last time we were in england. ha he even called his local shop to stay open so i could go get my galaxy chocolate fix. ha and they did for him! we were meant to be spending more time wiht him in june when we go to the uk, sadly that won't happen now. our trip just won't be the same. we will def be thinking of you kev!! love you and miss you so much!!!! your cute, sexy and shit Shan!!
I've been thinking of what I should post for the longest time, and was never able to come up with anything good. most of what I came up with was too overly sentimental and I said to myself, "no, this isn't what Kev would probably want from me." Other stuff the people with small feelings on the zone would probably find too offensive because they wouldn't understand that Kev and I use to laugh about it. Like his nickname for me, which was always Camel Fucker.
Kev and I were never really great friends, but we use to talk and joke on ventrilo all the time back in the day when it was the cool thing to do and we'd all spend hours and hours there. He was a...unique person, and I sincerely hope that he's at peace now. To the people who knew him best like Dan, Danielle and the rest of you english types, I offer my condolences. Just remember to laugh at your memories of him, because that's definitely what he'd want you to do.
I have so loved reading everyone's memories of Kevin. You've made me smile when all I've wanted to do is the polar opposite.
I have wanted to write something myself, but haven't been, and am still not, able. I want to be in the right place to do it, and I'm jsut not there right now as a result of another loss, in my family, this week.
For those of you who would like to be there in thought or spirit, Kev's funeral is on Tuesday week, march 26 at 2PM UK time.
I know that many people will be thinking of him, or will want too, so wanted to share that.
Take care all, and keep laughing. I'm sure it's what Kev would want.
Danielle
Whenever i think of zone, i think of Kev. Whenever i have the urge of loging on to the zone i know will never be the same without Kev's living present on zone. He's like part of the zone package. Without Kev is as if, The Zone have lost part of it's foundation. We have a few zoners passing in the pass years. but, in all honesty, i don't think any one else effected me as much as Kev does. Although we weren't particular close, but Kev, i do miss you. Maybe, we should set March 26 as a rememberance day for Kev this year.
Dan and Brandon were singing old drinking songs on tt tonight and literally, all I could think of, like I have for the past Idk week or so, "Kev would have loved this." Like Showe said, thank you for helping me and watching me grow up and be a constant cheerleader for everything I'd do. Sisisisisi is right, Kev is like part of the zone package, it feels like part of our foundation has been taken to a better place. Thank you for constantly laughing at mine and Brooke's messages on zbp when we were the craziest of 16-year-olds, "Kevin, your user name thingy creeps the balls out of me, and I haven't got many balls." It was even funnier when you said it. It was so great watching you play scopa, I'm sorry I was such a terrible scopa partner when we played together, but I'll be playin with you some day, whereever we are. Meet me there, will you? I love you Sweeetheart.
P.S. Thank you for loving my writing, I'm so glad I was able to get it to you, I know how much you wanted to read it.
Hello everyone.
For those of us who would like to pay tribute to Kev in person on the 26 of March at 2 PM UK's time but couldn't do to distance, finantial means ... I thought we could gather on TT at the curry house channnel as a mean of honoring his memory on the same day and time.
This is the only way I could think of to get the words out to everyone.
Take care,
Kim
I think that's a good idea and a good way for everyone to pay tribute and their respects to Kev.
I am so there. <3
I be there!
I'll have a class a half hour after it starts, but if people are still around I can make it there later.
I'm late to this Board, but wanted to put in my thoughts without even reading this topic so they're not influenced by other postings.
To me, Kev was one of those members of the site who really has kept it alive. Through making fun of people, updating parts of the Sports Challenge for us, to being a very large presence on Team Talk. Always with an insult when I log in, he was one of those I looked forward to talking with throughout my time on this site. Kev, if you're out there somewhere somehow reading this, you always called me a wank stain on life, but I'm afraid you're a permanent one on mine. I know medically you've gone through hell and I hope that you have finally found some piece and that you realize what you meant to me and I'm sure many others in this community.
Hello all,
For those of you who are plannning to be there on TT for Kev's tribute, know that the curry house has been removed as it was meant to be tempoary.
The date and time has not changed (26 of March 2 PM UK's time,) however,it will now be held at Kev's curry house which could be found under the premium Channels courtesy of Sam. So, a special thanks to her for creating the channel.
Kim
We didn't get along very much at all. However, rest in peace my friend. Blessed be. May your next life be happy loving and free of malities.
well, I realise i'm incredibly late in posting here but I only just found this topic.
Admittedly I never knew Kev that well, despite talking on and off from around mid 2008
What I do remember though was the times when I used to frequent this place and always get one hell of a laugh from either him, Dan, Cam or some times a combination of the three.
its a wonder I never drew attention to myself in class some times, let alone get work done!
Whenever I think of the zone, Kev's always a part of it, to the point that they're almost inseparable in my mind.
as I said before, I never got to know you half as well as I'd have like to Kev, but hopefully one day when we meet again I'll get that opportunity.
Wow rip Kev.
I new you 7 years. when I was 13. that's crazy. you were my very first friend on the zone and your still number 1 in my most sent and receved quicknotes.
thanks for caring about my problems and things that not many others cared about when i was a young teen. you really were one of my best friends for 3 or 4 years. even though you were a perve and asked me to have phone sex with you all the time and I never would. lol.
we haven't been very close in quite a while but you'd send me a heytell or dm here and there asking about me. reaching out letting me no you were there. and I did what I always do and blew it off and said i'm fine thanks. I should of called but I didn't.
Thanks for being a friend that i really neded in those hard years of being a teen. crazy that you met me when i was 13 and 2 weeks ago I turned 21. I no you would of said happy birthday rissa. mughugs
I'll miss the mughugs kev, sorry I'm a jerk who doesn't keep in touch like I should. sorry i was so private that past 5 years or so. I did and do consider you a friend. I couldn't of gotten threw those rough years 13 to 16 with out you to lean on. and you enver let me down.
thanks bud. its late at night and when I logged on tonight. its been months and months but you were always on it seemed when i couldn't sleep late nights and you would of set mughugs rissa.
I'll miss that, I"l mis you my friend. your perverted comments never offended me. sorry I didn't express my feeling more. I should of said thanks and I appreciate you more often. but I really did.
finding someone who really gives a fuck is fucking hard. at least for me. but i found you when i was 13 when i needed someone the most.
to bad your not here not I'd like to talk. but i'm doing alright and I'm glad your not hurting. that always made me feel so bad I no you didn't want simpathy or me to feel sorry but.
ok this is all scatter brained and random. but I miss you friend. love you, cared for you even if I was a lame friend the past few years. I'll see you someday.
Marissa C
I got an iPhone today. I know you're lookin down on me now yelling, "It's about fucking time." Love you!!!
Lol Sam, when I got my iPhone about 2 weeks ago, one of the first things I thought of was that Kev would have said, "It's about fucking time!"
I feel like like saying hi to you, So here I am, Hi kev. Say hi to Arron for me too. I hope he's singing to you daily cause that would highly amuse me as I know how it annoyed you haha. I miss you guys so freakin much. I know you are up there on heavens team talk with Arron, and the rest that have gone from here. If ya can put in a good word for me with the BIG GUY cause as you can see I'm messing up royal. anyhow love ya guy.
Feeling pretty emotional looking at this thread. I had to stop looking at it for quite a while coz I found it so overwhelming when everything was fresh. Really was surprised to still see people posting, and so glad.
Sam, Brooke, it's funny what you said about IPhones... I said the same thing to Kev I think when he finally got his.
Kev, what to say about you?
I didn't like you at all when we first started talking. You were so in my face, I was glad it was just VT or I probably would have slapped you, lol.
You could keep things to yourself all right, as long as they weren't so amusing to you that you refused after the fact of telling you something... I could have strangled you for some of the things you told people about me!
I've never met anyone off of the internet who doesn't have something different about them in person, but wow you got what you saw with you, which was a real relief at the time. I was scared of meeting you. So was Louise, but one of the better things I ever did.
When people say, oh you understood me so well, usually someone would read that and just think, yeh, bla bla bla, but on the level, there aren't many people who understand the lifestyle, abilities and limitations of a long-term chronic illness. I won't be popular for admitting that, out of all my friends, I think you were the only one who truly got me. That's a huge hole you left there. I wonder did you feel the same? Not to be presumptuous or arogant, but I think you did. In many ways, we had to deal with the same misinterpritations of illness, and the same burocracy of trying to get support. How many times did we bitch about stuff like that?
It was illness that meant we only met twice. The last time I saw you, last summer, has such happy memories attached to it. I was so looking forward to seeing you this summer. You should never take these things for granted. How many times in life do we say that? And, does it ever make any difference?
I loved you Kev, I loved our friendship, did you know that? I hope so. I miss you more than typeface will ever be able to justify.
Rest in peace. I'll be waiting to see you again when we get to the same place again.
Okay, black bird, rest in peace, you and me never got a long, infact I am sorta the black sheep of this sight, known to bust apples balls in a second and quite frankly do not care what any one says about me in publics or behind my back. I will give you this, when I met you on VT you were up front, not a fake and blunt. Not many can say that when it comes to this place we call the world wide web. Hell you probly had a few laughs at me for taking the android "dark" side of accessibility. You know what Black bird if your reading this from the other side? I love the dark side, so rest in peace and may the other side of the curten treet you well and keep beeing yourself.